People ask me what it's like to teach high school

This answer works pretty well. I recently turned this in as an assignment for a grad school class. We were supposed to find a creative way of expressing what it felt like in our classroom. I heard each of the sentences here during a single period on the day the assignment was given (names have been changed).

Monday, 1st Period


Just passing through, don't mind me. Mister, I don't know how to start! Hey, just wanted to let you know the coffee machine broke again. I've had my hand up for like five hours! You drawlin'! Have you checked your mailbox yet? I hate metaphors! I don’t know, something important. What do I owe you again? You lost my paper! You know how it is. Mister, the phone's ringing! Could you stop by my office during your prep? I know I turned that in! Oh, wait, here it is. What period is your prep again? Mister, write up Lauri! Can you cover Stevenson's seventh period? Lauri just stabbed me with a pen, yo! Attention staff and students. Drew started it! I only stabbed him because he started it! Please excuse the interruption. I forgot my homework! Would students signed up for the public speaking workshop please report to the cafeteria. These teachers! Not you, Mister, but these other teachers be drawlin’! You teach the Freshmen Seminar second period, right? I never curse! I'm not interrupting anything, am I? Mister, I'm Christian! Could you bring your freshmen group up to the library next period? Christians don't curse! We need to see them for course selection. Mister, I know you have candy. Running to the copier soon? You were ignoring me, Mister! Would you take this over for me? Mister, I saw you come in with candy this morning. Could you sign this permission slip for Josepe to play in the game tonight? But I didn't eat lunch yesterday, Mister. He asked you during class, I guess you didn’t hear him. I'm hungry! Don't forget about that meeting at three. You teachers should feed us more! Have a good one. What were we supposed to be doin' again?